Brave Tory punches 58-year-old homosexual

In a demonstration of the humanity, dignity and compassion that are fundamental tenets of conservatism, a Tory party supporter laid a punch on gay rights activist Bob Smyth, 58, at a Stephen Harper rally in Guelph, Ontario yesterday.

Smyth and Laurie Arron, 41, of the group Canadians for Equal Marriage, stood up during the rally and attempted to confront Harper on the issue of gay marriage. They were greeted with howls of "shut up, shut up" from the democracy-loving Tory faithful then battered with "Vote Harper" signs, before Smyth was assaulted by "a senior citizen". The two activists were then dragged from the room by police, who apparently failed to take any action against the hot-headed Harperians.

Harper later expressed regret for the incident, saying he wished people would "treat each other respectfully."

"And, I mean, come on, he's 58 and gay. Who the hell punches a 58-year-old gay dude?", he didn't add.

Meanwhile the Tory campaign continues to unravel, with Harper expressing astonishment that people are dwelling on social issues such as abortion, capital punishment and gay marriage rather than concentrating on what's really important, such as his tax cuts favouring the well-off (annual savings for those with an income of $40,000: $469. Annual savings for those with an income of $70,000: $2,494).