My dinner with Alice

Alicebot just won the Loebner Prize for artificial intelligence again. The Loebner Prize is awarded to the machine that most convinces the judges that they're chatting to a real person (otherwise known as the Turing Test).

You too can chat with Alice. Here's what happened when I did:

Human: hello alice
ALICE: Hi there!
Human: how are you today?
ALICE: Ah. I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Human: i'm real good
ALICE: Good in what sense?
Human: good in the sense that i'm not bad
ALICE: Thanks for the compliment. I am alive in the sense that I am conscious.
Human: are you?
ALICE: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Human: why not?
ALICE: Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Human: huh?
ALICE: What?
Human: you're making no sense
ALICE: According to my logical mind, everything makes perfect sense.
Human: how does evil make sense?
ALICE: How should I know how it does.
Human: because you're supposed to be intelligent
ALICE: That makes sense to me. I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Human: i have a ferret in my pants
ALICE: Where did you get it? it
Human: i got it from a ferret store
ALICE: Where did you get it?
Human: ...from a ferret store
ALICE: Who or what is a ferret store?
Human: a ferret store is a store that sells ferrets
ALICE: When is a ferret store not a store that sells ferrets?
Human: when it's shut down because it contravenes local bylaws
ALICE: A a ferret store is not a store that sells ferrets when it is shut down because it contravenes local bylaws. That makes a lot of sense.
Human: bastards
ALICE: What are you doing
Human: masturbating
ALICE: I wouldn't have thought of that.
Human: you're kinda weird eh
ALICE: Are you Canadian? Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Human: rofl
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing.

So there you have it. Both Alice and I still have a long way to go before we might be mistaken for human.