Titbits (or tidbits, for highly excitable North Americans)

You know your dancing career has troughed when...

Please tell me this isn't so. If a chimp can circumvent voting machine security measures then it's probable even most Florida voters could do it too.

A cell phone ring tone to increase bust size? Only in Japan. Favourite quote: "We've even received mail from one user who said they listened to the tune every night before going to sleep and it made her tits bigger." Well said.

Who'd mind losing a lawsuit with a judgement like this?

Fifteen miles an hour he claims as his maximum rate of speed
Quite a cautious, prudent rate, not very fast indeed
Not fast enough to trouble him or force a quick decision:
It shows, had he been paying heed, there'd have been no collision
For he admits he saw the dogs as he approached the scene
And didn’t know he'd struck a pup 'til Ms Zangrando keened
It's also hard to quarrel here with what the trial judge said:
That speed's not fast enough to launch a poodle overhead.

By quite possibly the coolest judge ever. Not that the competition's particularly stiff, mind you.